On Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

“I’m not loving you, way I wanted to/I bet no one knew, I got no one new/Know I said I’m through, but got love for you/But I’m not loving you, the way I wanted to/Gotta keep it going, keep the loving going/Keep it on the roll, only God knows/If I be with you, baby I’m confused/You choose, you choose.” -Kanye West, “Love Lockdown” from 808s and Heartbreaks.

Love is probably the most written about idea/emotion/action in the world. When asked, “How many songs have been written about love?” Writer Stan Heyward answered, “Two. Happy ones and Sad ones.”

The thing that most intrigues me about love, is how it is a choice. I believe has human beings we choose who we love and for how long we love them. I love my parents, naturally, but how I love them became much more of a choice as I got older. My mother I love close up, my father I love from a distance. I have also made choices about how to love my daughter. I love and adore her, but refuse to make it an all-consuming love.

I have loved men too. Many. Many men.

I have chosen to love each of them in ways, unfortunately, that was usually most convenient for me at the time. If I needed encouragement, I loved a guy who was either really good or really bad at that. If I needed to believe in myself, I would date someone that I had to pour all this energy into, only to realize I was wasting on him what I should have spent on myself. I have also loved guys who were sweet and smart and caring and genuine and giving. They too filled spaces in me, and I in them. Sometimes, like Kanye says, we can not love someone the way we want to. It’s then that they choose, that we choose. The same is true for my girlfriends who are a different type of love, a love that is full of peace, passion, and even competition.

Then, there is the love of self. But that, my friends, is another post.

No matter who we love. It’s important to remember that when we choose to love, we are always making the right choice. Let love be your guiding force. Let it be what motivates your choices each day, let it be the thoughts you keep and the words you speak. Let love exist within and around you. “Let all that you do be done in love.”—1 Corinthians 16:14

Kanye West’s new album, Life of Pablo, is available now.

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